"briannutter1" (briannutter1)
12/19/2014 at 21:33 • Filed to: None
1
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"briannutter1" (briannutter1)
12/19/2014 at 21:33 • Filed to: None | 1
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Friday Night!
Scary__goongala!
> briannutter1
12/19/2014 at 21:43 |
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hmm I don't have any stories involving both.
blackchair
> briannutter1
12/19/2014 at 21:45 |
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If i told you i would have to kill you. Just like the strippers in my trunk. (Kidding of course)
Funktheduck
> briannutter1
12/19/2014 at 21:46 |
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I went to a strip club once. It was uncomfortable. I've never been back.
Decay buys too many beaters
> briannutter1
12/19/2014 at 21:46 |
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Once I drove a car to a strip club.
At the end of the night I drove home.
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briannutter1
> blackchair
12/19/2014 at 21:48 |
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Yes...bad bad bad. This was an experimental post.
PyramidHat
> Funktheduck
12/19/2014 at 21:49 |
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I know, right? I mean, it's not a morality thing - folks do what they do, but the few times I've been, I felt weird and wanted to get out of there. I think it's something to do with the cynical exchange of money, or something...
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briannutter1
> Funktheduck
12/19/2014 at 21:50 |
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It happens. Some guys into it. Most not. I got tired of blowing $ after my 10th time or so; still I'm glad it exists.
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briannutter1
> Decay buys too many beaters
12/19/2014 at 21:50 |
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Ok, I see where this is going :)
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briannutter1
> PyramidHat
12/19/2014 at 22:02 |
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Yep, the rip-off factor is pretty high and unappealing. Rather take 100 other chances on any given night with someone else. Still, it's said the reason you pay a prostitute isn't to make them stay....it's to make them go away.
Racescort666
> briannutter1
12/19/2014 at 22:15 |
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Ok, here goes. I'm not into strip clubs. I will go if other people are going but I won't ever suggest it unless as a joke. My first experience at a strip club is absolutely car related though.
Before Global Rallycross was what it is, I was marginally involved. I knew a few people, I helped out a bit, I was unemployed at the time so I figured, what the hell, help out at an event. I was at a Sat-Sun event in New Jersey and the whole deal had finished up and everyone was looking to party. We were at a chain family-ish restaurant near the hotel, we had a good rapport with the waitstaff, but it got to closing time and they were kicking us out. A group of drunk, rowdy, sometimes and actual race car drivers that we were we wanted to continue the shenanigans.
Finally the bartender spills the beans and says, "well there's a place that serves beer until 2 am down the road but it's a strip club..." I was like "nah, I'm not really feeling it, it's getting late, blah, blah, blah." Plus, most of us were drunk so logistics were going to be hairy at best.
That was until one of the drivers piped up in his very British accent and said "well I still have the keys to my Penske rental truck." You could almost hear the record scratch as everyone turned around. I pulled a full 180 immediately decreed that I was going.
So we all pile in the back of this Penske truck like the drunk idiots we are and head off to the dirty New Jersey strip club that has no idea what it's in for. Meanwhile we're bouncing in the back of the truck like a bounce house and the driver stands on the gas slamming us all into the rear roll up door.
After several minutes that felt like hours, we finally arrived and fall out of the back of the truck like a bunch of drunk and dizzy migrant workers. We flash our IDs at the unsuspecting security and lewd dancers and some one in the crowd proceeds to tell them that we are all male porn stars.
Needless to say, it was very entertaining, more alcohol was consumed, and I remained disease free.
TheJWT
> Racescort666
12/19/2014 at 22:22 |
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You win.
shop-teacher
> briannutter1
12/19/2014 at 22:28 |
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Last time I went to a strip club (one of two times), one of the strippers sat down at our table. We completely ignored her (she had NO boobies), she sat there awkwardly for a few minutes, before giving up.
We left after a couple hours, and that same stripper was leaving too. She got into a gold Chevy Venture, complete with family stick figure stickers on the back.
> briannutter1
12/19/2014 at 22:31 |
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I stripped a few cars for parts.
PRBot II
> briannutter1
12/19/2014 at 22:37 |
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I was in college, and I wanted to buy a quarter ounce of nuggets from this guy. I think he was one of my coworkers from Guitar Center, but I can't remember. It was several years ago, etc... you know. Anyway, he wasn't one of those "buy weed and that's it" dealers. No, he was one of the "buy weed and hang out" dealers, because otherwise I'm a jerk who is just using him for the trees. Fuck.
So I get to his place, and we're chilling. He's all like "yeah, yeah, I got that quarter. But first we're hittin' up the strip club tonight". On the outside I'm like "Oh yeah? That's cool". But on the inside I'm thinking "Shit. It's gonna be a long night".
His buddies show up. We pile into his car. This thing was some kind of mid 90's Japanese econobox with an automatic transmission. Maybe a Corolla, could have been a Mitsu, I don't remember. This thing had over 300,000 miles on the odometer. I was impressed.
We get to the club. I had been to one just once before when I was 18, but I had no clue what I was in for. This place was sad. Underfunded, depressing, ugly, and made me uncomfortable.
We get in, and he's totally into it. He's in his zone. Next thing I know, we're sitting up next to the stage. And I didn't have any singles on me that night. Just a small stack of 20's for the weed.
This was the time that I learned not all strip clubs feature ladies showing vag. I maybe saw one nip that night. I didn't even care since I didn't want to be there anyway. But still, I was like "WTF?".
So some old stripper crawls up to me on hands and knees, puts her tits in my face, and purrs in my ear. And I'm like:
So she says "come on baby, look like you're having fun".
As much as I wanted, I couldn't explain to her, "Ma'am, I appreciate the work you're doing, however I have to be here tonight otherwise my associate to my left won't want to sell me $100 worth of sticky icky".
Time goes on. My buddy is getting lap dances. And I'm turning down offers for lap dances.
Now we're finally ready to leave the club. But it's taking forever for him to gtfo of the place, and the bouncers are getting pissed. I'm standing next to his high mileage econobox praying no one gets their ass kicked.
We get back to his place. He finally sells me the quarter.
Four hours, a 300,000 mile econobox, several old strippers with C-section scars, a pissed off bouncer... and one hell of a fantastic bag of weed. Those nuggets were so sticky you could throw them against the wall and they'd stick.
10/10, would buy again.
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briannutter1
> PRBot II
12/20/2014 at 00:27 |
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Classic...yes that's how I see it as well. Thanks for the excellent writing.
speedygopher
> briannutter1
12/20/2014 at 00:59 |
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I drove my car to a strip club. With my wife. We had fun.
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briannutter1
> speedygopher
12/20/2014 at 02:16 |
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Do tell!
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blackchair
> briannutter1
12/20/2014 at 07:50 |
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terrible.. you can dismiss my post if possible. in hindsight, it wasn't that good anyway.
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blackchair
> briannutter1
12/20/2014 at 07:51 |
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Ok for real this time. I sold my first car to my ex-girlfriend who then became a stripper.